Showing our strengths

I recently asked a group of moms to describe their children’s strengths. I then asked the same group of moms to list strengths they had as parents. As expected, the moms were able to list several strengths of their children and practically skipped over the listing their own strengths. The next week I asked theses parents to post their children’s weaknesses and their own personal weaknesses when it came to parenting. Sure enough, the parents were now able to express their own personal weaknesses without hesitation.

Why is that? Why are we much more comfortable in expressing the weakest parts of our being versus telling others what we are good at? I wonder if it’s because if we openly admit the areas we are good at, people might expect to see us being good at them. If we say “I’m great at disciplining my children” but then during your son’s ball game your daughter is out of control, everyone thinks you are a fraud! Another reason I personally feel better listing my weaknesses, is because of the way I soon relate to other moms. It’s much easier to admit my flaws and hear the other mom say, “Oh man, I’m struggling too.”

So why is it important to understand and talk bravely about our strengths? I think we would all agree that our kids are sponges. They are listening to our every word! Country singer Rodney Atkins has a song called ‘Watching You’ describing this perfectly. He talks about how his little boy mimics his dad’s every action; from cursing to talking to God like a friend while praying. All of our words and actions are being watched. If we are constantly talking only about our weaknesses, they will only talk about and look for theirs! So, let us all agree to take a vow, that we will do what is necessary to not only acknowledge our strengths but to learn the language it takes to share them with others, especially our children. Then and only then will we start to change the way our children think of themselves. By noticing our child’s’ strengths, and using language that informs the child what their strengths are, they will start to live out their strengths and find ways to build more. Teaching them how to build on their strengths while letting ours define the best version of ourselves, will help aim them in a positive direction!

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